Why NO ONE Should Take Phil McGraw seriously

I've received quite a few emails about a show about the - ahem - "psychologist" Phil McGraw did on computer gaming. I haven't seen it, as the only time I generally see Phil is on old Mad TV parodies on YouTube when I need a laugh. Mad TV does a great job.

I have never been able to bring myself to watch Phil's show, well mainly because I'm working doing actual therapy in the daytime when it's on, but also because the man and his ugly, stupid style sends me into a complete catoplexic fit and I don't have anyone handy to shove a popcicle stick between my teeth so I don't bit my tongue in half.

Folks, Phil is not for real. Whatever you call what it is he does, it's not based upon psychology, it's most certainly not anything close to therapy, and I don't believe for a second that he helps people. The fact that anyone takes McGraw seriously makes me hang my head in shame.

Bottom line, I didn't see the show. I don't know if any valid points were made on it or not. But if it was typical of Phil's style I'm sure it was negative, sensationalistic, unbalanced, and edited to make people look like freaks. If I ever catch the whole thing I'll make a YouTube response. I seriously doubt he'd entertain my thoughts on his TV program, but I'd be embarrassed to be caught there anyway.

There's a lot more wrong with Phil McGraw than I have room to write here. I think Mad TV pretty much nails it on the most obvious level.

Phil, what were you thinking when you decided to call yourself a psychologist?

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Thoughts on positive aspects of gaming - sent by a full-time dad

Eleanor Roosevelt once remarked, We should do something that scares us at least once a day. Bilbo Baggins said to his nephew Frodo, Frodo my dear boy, going out your door is a dangerous business. If you don't keep your feet there's no knowing where you'll be swept off to. I have always wanted to be the hero. I have always wanted to save the world or stop the evil wizard. But for me it's not simply about the ending but also the journey. If I'm going to stop the evil wizard then I'll need a big furry pet and some light-hearted friends to make for the most enjoyable experience.

I can meet new people that a stay at home father would never even dream of meeting, some of them with very strange and interesting cultural idiosyncrasies. Some with different religious beliefs, some with stark difference in appearances. But with all our most unexplainable differences we come together to find love, friendship, and the healthy bonds of a commonly held experience shared by all. Perhaps by being a good father to my children I will get to hear of similar adventures through their eyes and stories they bring home. My mother and I used to love to paint ceramic sculptures together. That was very imaginative and lots of fun. It could be any color you wanted, have any name you chose, and take on any shape you asked for. All of that and you could make believe it had its own little story to accompany it. There were sculpted puppy dogs, kittens, dragons, birds, and all kinds of stuff. Sometimes I would imagine they came alive in a storybook for children. I think I'd like to write some children's storybooks in the future. I know one story already that I am excited to write. It's about a Polar Bear who eats Ruby Cookies ^_^

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Happy Hollidays from Evanor & Rezlab

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Hot Sexy Avatars - or - Would you please stop looking at my butt!

As I mentioned last post, I have this internal dissonance about what I would term the hyper-sexualized style of most female game avatars. On one hand I prefer to play a female character that I can relate to as a representation of myself (I'd rather not play a troll or dwarf or a hulking male tank) but then I have to accept that most of the female avatar choices are over-the-top-unrealistic-silicone-porn-influenced-adolescent-sexual-fantasy-renditions much of the time. And that's not the way I would choose to portray myself if given a choice. "Attractive" is a projective I'm comfortable with..."Bondage-Stripper" is, ummm, just not me. Admittedly some games are worse than others.

Perhaps it puts it into some kind of perspective to consider my age and profession, I don't know. Just processing aloud here...if you're reading this it's quite possible I'm old enough to be your mother. But I'm not really sure that many younger women don't feel the same way.

My first MMO was Lineage2, with the choices of the willowy blonde Victoria's Secret Elf who flashed her lacy panties with every spell cast, or the hyper-buxom dark elf in bondage gear that (depending upon level of "armor" har,har) often appeared to be wearing little more than a g-string. I admit I played both chars a bit, and I admit to the dissonance I felt. If you've played an MMO no doubt you've witnessed the ubiquitous sexual chat and antics, the obsessed stalkers, and other unique ways people act out their needs and urges. Personally, that's not the reason I play a game and it's not something that I enjoy.

Projection is an interesting thing, and something that a lot of gamers admit to. We see ourselves as our characters in a variety of ways, and I love discussing that topic with people.

In most every interview I've done, I ask people the question "So - do you think elf chicks are hot?" and surprisingly (or not) most males of all ages (and a few women) admit to being turned-on by avatars. Another fascinating issue to discuss.

What my husband would say is that "Sex sells" and MMOs are ultimately about making a profit for big companies. Does it really get down to hyper-sexual means more money, and if so, is that something people should think about?

Good comment previously - let the game companies know how you feel.

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My Son Shouldn't See My Avatar!

People often ask me if I still play any computer games. The answer is yes. Selectively and for specific purposes. The only one I'm playing presently is Guild Wars every Sunday evening with my husband and my son who is away at college.

We use ventrillo, and play together as a group for about two hours. My son gets to coach us, as of course (proud mother that I am) I have to say he's one of the world's top video game players and no doubt will support me in grand style when I am old. But that's not really the point I'm making.

I wanted to say something about my shrinking costume. (the lump in my cheek is my tongue)

When I created my necro/elem as a red-haired female (wonder why I always do that?) she was attired in fairly conservative clothing considering how female avatars are often portrayed. I was comfortable. The pants were a bit tight, but nothing I felt too self-conscious in. Then I leveled up, and had to upgrade my outfit. There's no choice about what clothing to buy...just the next upgrade available, and you don't know what it looks like until you've already purchased it and put it on.

My breasts are now exposed. I mean, like seriously exposed. Other avatars are staring at me in the game and making lewd gestures, and I want a cloak or something to put over them, but there doesn't seem to be any option for that. I'm totally uncomfortable.

Bottom line is, HOW am I supposed to play with my son, running around with exposed breasts? How would he feel about that? There's just something so wrong about it...

Creative character customization indeed.

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A new evolutionary step - your avatar is a lab rat :-D

Has your avatar been a bit pale and listless lately? If so, it might be because epidemiologists have infected her with a virulent form of elf-pox. A new article in the Boston Globe describes how researching are using MMOs and other virtual worlds as a testing ground for epidemic preparedness, as well as other things. The example is cited of the virus "Corrupted Blood" that was introduced in WoW in fall 2005.

"Human response is, almost by definition, difficult to predict, requiring experiments on emotionally involved subjects to determine the proportion of the population likely to respond in various ways," the authors wrote in The Lancet Infectious Diseases study.

In the Corrupted Blood outbreak, researchers observed heartening altruistic attempts to heal people. There was also the specter of bioterror in accounts of players who contracted the disease in one part of the game and then intentionally introduced it to a major metropolitan area.

Contrary to common sense, some players broke out of quarantine set up by the game's designers or even tried to contract Corrupted Blood to see what it was like. Since the players are not subjecting themselves to these epidemics in real life, they are more apt to do things (spread contagions) that they would not do in a real epidemic outbreak.

I hope an ethics board develops in-game to provide informed consent to test subjects.

Anyway, the next time you find your character's skin changing or find yourself mysteriously debuffed, take two aspirin, vitamin C and PM me – your happy healer – in the morning.

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The Myth of Logic

Despite what we like to think, human beings are driven by passion not logic. If we were really logical creatures we'd never engage in behaviors that were harmful to us, things that might not be working out so well. I mean think about it - does anyone really do anything because it's logical?

We do things that make us feel good, not necessarily things that benefit us in the long run. And there's no judgment in saying that - it's just the way it is. If we quit hiding in logic and look deeper we might learn some very interesting things about ourselves and our motivations. And the more we know, the more choices we see.

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PC Gamer Magazine, July 2007

It took a death in her family for Shavaun Scott, a professional therapist by day, to realize that she was spending more time in her favorite MMO game than with her friends and family. "When I'm on my deathbed and I look back on all the hours that I spent in life, what am I going to be proud about? What am I going to say - that I was a damned good elf?" - Virtually Addicted, Is MMO Addiction Real, Or Is It Just Hype, PC Gamer Magazine, July 2007

I'm not sure how I can express myself much clearer than that.

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Real Life Shooters & Games

Do video games create psychotic mass murderers?

I could write two separate books on the topics of 1) video games, and 2) psychotic killers. They are separate issues. However, for now I just wanted to say a few things on the way the two issues are integrated by some people.

(As an aside, I think excessive media attention sets up individuals up as heroes to the mutually mentally disturbed would-be martyrs and celebrity seekers of the world by discussing their bizarre violent behavior in depth, and parading their faces, videos, and diatribes in front of the world. I prefer not to feed into that and will not mentioning their names or details of their crimes.)

I have worked professionally with a number of psychotic killers over the years, both in forensic outpatient and state institutions for the criminally insane. None of the ones I worked with were “mass murderers,” generally having killed no more than one or two individuals at a time, however they fit a similar diagnostic picture and were typically psychotic, paranoid, and obsessive. This is important: These people are not created by their environments, abusive parents, or early potty training.

Psychosis is a brain disease, pure and simple. It's beyond the scope of what I'm writing at present to define further, but very easy to research to anyone with interest. There are a variety of symptoms, and in types of paranoid psychosis deulsions of persecution and fantasies of violence and revenge are common. If poor parenting or bullying in school created paranoid psychosis, a large percentage of our society would be having symptoms.

Anti-psychotic medication and treatment very often clears the thinking of a psychotic person, and restores an essentially normal personality. Many of these individuals are very nice people when not delusional and paranoid. And that’s really the tragedy in these cases: as a culture we do not have an effective way to intervene when people display signs of severe mental illness and get them into treatment that could prevent astonishing acts of violence.

Next I’ll address the topic of videogames and violence. Clearly this is controversial, and there is conflicting evidence. However we can say with confidence that exposure to violent video media does not in and of itself create psychotic killers. There is not a direct cause-effect relationship. If there were, the world would be populated by millions of psychotic killers.

People with problems with reality testing and paranoia are often attracted to extremely violent media and we should ask “is violent media helpful or harmful to people with psychotic tendencies or other mental health problems?” Certainly it's not helpful. Those with problems with reality testing and paranoia are often attracted to extremely violent media. It can agitate them, increase thoughts of aggression, and at times contribute to obsessive ruminations and fantasies. In treatment facilities, exposure to violent media is limited for these reasons and attempts are made to keep mentally ill folks grounded in the “real” world. Management of negative thoughts and feelings is emphasized, as well as the development of positive problem-solving skills.

Again I find myself saying I don’t have answers to all these value-laden issues but I think we can to ask discuss some relevant questions. Can we create games that are fun and yet pro-social? When is violence “too extreme?” Can developers create games with awareness of psychological, developmental, and social issues without the necessity of government control?

Most importantly to me, can we focus on prevention, treatment, and effective intervention for those with mental illness and get the guy's face off the news? As he copied "Dylan and Eric" he's now been added to the list of role-models.

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Go To Health

Is it any surprise that I always played a healer in MMOs? I love studying avatars as projectives and my own make terrific case studies. More on that another time.

Right now I feel compelled to address my perspective on the issue of compulsive MMO play, as it seems to be something I'm asked to discuss a lot. I'm keenly interested in it, having played compulsively myself and having family members who still do. It's a serious subject and one that arouses strong passions. Intelligent people become highly polarized and I think sensationalistic media attention can encourage negative engagement and hostility. It's probably my clinical background and training that lead me to attempt to get people to engage in positive dialogue, to listen to one another respectfully, and above all, to be self-aware. In my real-life role as a healer self-awareness is a key to living a healthy life. After all, you can only be free when you know what you're doing. And health is what we should all be concerned about.

No matter what words you chose to use ("addiction", "compulsivity", "problematic play") I don't think anyone would deny that some people play games too much. Some people become severely impaired from the amount of time they spend preoccupied with gaming. People argue about who owns the responsibility for that - the game developers (often compared to the tobacco industry) for creating the reinforcement systems/leveling/social embedding inherent in MMOs, or the players who should be able to manage their own lives. Perhaps it would be a giant step forward for everyone to take responsibility for moving toward health. Ultimately, what is good for people? Can we define that individually and make responsible choices for ourselves and our children? Can we encourage corporations to put health as a priority above profit?

Okay, maybe I'm an idealist in a PvP (Player vs. Player) world but so be it.

In my daily life I don't have contact with the major gaming companies, thus I don't know that I have any power there other than to continue to attempt to raise awareness regarding issues of responsibility versus profit. I've talked to enough small developers who do have concerns about creating healthy and pro-social games to know that there are people who have similar concerns and are making moves in positive directions. In another post I'll make some observations about what qualities in certain games encourage compulsive play, and I encourage others to comment on their own experiences and observations.

My daily work is with individuals who are struggling with how to be healthy, sometimes having no clue what that would look like as a lifestyle. It would take a book to discuss this adequately but I can make a few points here. The first and perhaps most important is that any behavior that is compulsive, obsessive, and is interfering with your basic life functioning is a problem. Any behavior.

The next few points all start with "S" - self-awareness, self-monitoring, self-correction.

Finally there's "E" for empathy. Awareness of and compassion for the feelings of loved ones cannot be left out of the picture of healthy functioning.

I think it's going to take another post to go into more detail. There's a lot to say. And yes, the book is in process.

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